Rita Ora… Wrote an ‘orror
This Week’s Singles: Fake Club, Darwin Deez, The Cribs, MCR, Rita Ora and several others!
Published on February 13th, 2013 | Jonny Abrams
We’ve got singles by the bucket load this week, so much so that Rocksucker brought a second bucket along just in case…and in the end that wasn’t even enough.
Warning: Some of the following tunes are truly ghastly. Rocksucker accepts no accountability in the event of any violence that may occur by dint of their awfulness.
Some of them are ace, though – like this first one, for instance…
A Band of Buriers – “Wicked Game”
A ‘live in the living room’ Chris Isaak cover marked by gentle nylon fingerpicking, James P Honey’s distinctive voice, dolorous strings and harmonies, all good stuff. Rocksucker still digs A Band of Buriers, and yes we’re going to keep on doing that joke.
Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!
A Fine Frenzy – “Now is the Start”
Walking down a railway – tut tut. She was lucky this time, readers, but on another day she might have had two hundred tons of public transport giving her the eyeballs.
Initial scepticism (précis: “this sounds like a happy clappy Lana Del Rey”) gradually subsided in the presence of steel drums and nicely understated vocals, and there are one or two surprising moments along the way. Half a quail deducted for the flagrant disregard for safety regulations, of course, but otherwise an ‘intriguing proposition’, or some other such journo waffle.
Rocksucker says: Three Quails out of Five!
Anavae – “Storm Chaser”
You might find yourself sighing and thinking “here we go, Avril Evanescence” – which is all well and good, because you’d be right to. This is dodgy with a capital DODGY, and yet there are a couple of chord changes towards the end that do actually sound like they had some thought put into them. That comes as scant consolation, however, when it’s so absolutely drenched in that horrible “music by committee” (credit Tony SoapCo for that one) kind of sheen about it.
In conclusion: euch, but not as euch as some of the stuff we’ve got coming up, folks!
Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!
Avicii vs Nicky Romero – “I Could Be the One”
Thumbs up for the wibbly rave synth, but this is otherwise pretty straightforward techno-pop-whatever-sort-of-thing with interludes of what looks like clips from a film. Is this soundtracking a film, then? Maybe we should google it.
Pfft, nah.
Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!
Charli XCX – “You (Ha Ha Ha)”
“Annoying song has gun in video shocker”. That’ll do.
“We used to be the cool kids / You were old school and I was on some new shit” – sigh.
Seriously: sigh. Sighriously, even.
“Annoying song gets crap review shocker”. You heard it here first.
Rocksucker says: Half a Quail out of Five!
Darwin Deez – “Free (The Editorial Me)”
Big old fuzzy stomp with sun-bleached hair that takes a left turn into a sort of ‘downcast Dismemberment Plan’ mid-section, then back again, like WATERS with more surprises. This is decent in the renovated sense of the word, whereby the inference of adequacy has been upgraded by the youth of today and redeployed as more of a commendation: “man, that film was decent”, “wow, that burger was decent”, and so on and so forth.
Where were we? Oh yes, the quailing!
Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!
Dobie – “She Moans”
Drown her out with this subtly bonkers percussive clackathon!
Er, that was a tongue-in-cheek suggestion as to how one might combat the titular problem, not a wry anti-Valentine’s day sentiment.
Happy day before Valentine’s day, everyone!
Rocksucker says: Three and a Half Quails out of Five!
Fake Club – “Over and Over”
Begins with a scary faceless guy in a suit, you know.
Breakneck power chords and rhythm section, thrillingly rasping vocals and a chorus that reminds Rocksucker faintly of Blur for some reason – all good stuff, then unruly outbreaks of fast-picked lead guitar are let fly and the deal is sealed more than Seal feeding a mechanical seal to a baby seal on Deal Or No Deal.
Ends with Rambo, you know.
Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!
FaltyDL feat. Ed Macfarlane – “She Sleeps”
Zoned out and hypnotic, or just plain unadventurous? The truth, as might very well be she who is sleeping, lies somewhere in the middle.
Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!
Gabrielle Aplin – “Please Don’t Say You Love Me”
“Please don’t say you love me”. We really weren’t going to.
You can glean all you need to know from the still image of the video embedded above. You don’t even need to click play – just look at that picture. It sounds like that, basically.That is, it makes The Lighthouse Family sound like The Prodigy.
Funnily enough, it has quite a nice middle eight.
Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five
King Dinosaur – “How to Feel”
Could almost have featured on Toro Y Moi’s new album, this one. Is this “future jazz”, then? It’s just that we came across the phrase somewhere earlier and that’s what this sounds like. If you grant it your attention it will disorient you in pleasing ways, and although it doesn’t particularly go anywhere it deigns to keep it short and sweet. Thumbs up.
Rocksucker says: Three Quails out of Five!
Lower Than Atlantis – “Go on Strike”
HVc-JARIx_A
Lower Than Atlantis?
They are, you know.
*Clears throat*
*Adjusts bow tie*
“Go on Strike”?
They should.
*Muted applause*
Thank you.
Rocksucker says: Half a Quail out of Five!
Low Sea – “Remote Viewing”
Ha! What is this, nightmare disco? We mean that in a good way – seriously, that’s one discordantly addled-sounding verse. The poppy chorus is a little disappointing in its wake but the lateral thinking elsewhere has to be worth a quail or two.
Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!
My Chemical Romance – “Conventional Weapons 5”
This is My Chemical Romance at their very best.
Rocksucker says: One Quail out of Five!
Rita Ora – “Radioactive”
“Radioactive”, eh? Better keep clear of this one, folks! Chortle!
No seriously, keep clear of this one – it’s truly dire. “I’m sick I need a fix I need a DayQuil” sang Ora on the equally objectionable “Facemelt”, and though we cannot offer her a DayQuil we do have for her a Dead Quail.
Rocksucker says: Have a Dead Quail!
Shiny Toy Guns – “Waiting Alone”
If you don’t burst out laughing when the guy starts singing then you’re better people than Rocksucker.
Rocksucker says: One Quail out of Five!
The Staves – “Winter Trees”
This is the sound of thousands of people saying, “Ooh, cool video.” Song’s nice too, like a hypnotised Joni Mitchell. Lyrics are a bit dull but that weird chord change in the verse is a winner every time.
Rocksucker says: Three Quails out of Five!
Tegan and Sara – “Closer”
This is a piss-take, right? Are they competition winners or something?
“Closer”?
How about further?
Arf! And, indeed, ‘alf…
Rocksucker says: Half a Quail out of Five!
Shrag – “On the Spines of Old Cathedrals”
Sweet and mischievous Pixies-meets-Human-League sort of thing, apparently their swansong (though the press release says they’ll reform for three hundred quid). News of their demise is a shame as there ought to be more bands with their kind of spirit.
Rocksucker says: Three and a Half Quails out of Five!
The Cribs – “Leather Jacket Love Song”
Good delivery, average-to-decent song. No doubt the NME are declaring them “the new Libertines” or some such right about now. In the Belly of the Brazen Bull sounded nice at first but the more you listen the more you realise what an utter rip-off pretty much every song on it is. In other words, what’s the point?
Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!
Toploader – “Turn It Around”
Until “Turn It Around”, Toploader only ever had one good song. No, not the Jamie Oliver song – this one, and listening back to it now Rocksucker can’t believe we never noticed how sucky the lyrics are.
After “Turn It Around”, Toploader still only have one good song, and even that song doesn’t very good at all all these years later. Oh well.
Rocksucker says: One Quail out of Five!
Wolf Alice – “Fluffy”
Nice airy vocal, rich and lightly psychedelic melody – surefire Pixies influence, and what’s wrong with that? Some shoegaze influence too, and maybe a spot of glam…something of Clinic about the barked chorus…really quite good.
How’s that for Jilly Goolden style assessment? Seriously though, this is a good ‘un.
Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!
Bye bye everyone!
Bye now!
Okay, yeah, see you!
…….
……………..
………………………………….
Just go, for crying out loud.
Related Articles
The best of this week’s singles: Beck, Damon Albarn, Rufus Wainwright and more!
100 best albums of 2013 countdown: 70-61
The rest of this week’s singles: Roots Manuva, Factory Floor, Fake Club and more!
The rest of this week’s singles: Timberlake, The xx, Joy Formidable and more!
About the Author
Jonny Abrams Editor of Rocksucker and the website's founder, Jonny is passionate about the music he listens to, both good and bad, as well as interviewing his favourite musicians.
