This is the moment his soul leaves his body
Ten Worst Songs of 2013 – 2. “Rebel Sound” by Goo Goo Dolls
Published on December 12th, 2013 | Jonny Abrams
Remember Goo Goo Dolls? That’s right, “Iris”. Well, did you know that they never really went away? In fact, it turns out they’ve never gone more than four years without releasing an album since their eponymous debut of – wait for it – 1987.
“We got nowhere else to go” croaks Johnny Rzeznik on “Rebel Sound”, the lead single from their tenth album Magnetic, and it’s more than likely a conclusion he could have arrived at eons ago.
In terms of transparent grasps for a cynically achieved hit, “Rebel Sound” really takes the cake. Its brain-liquifyingly simplistic approach to pop song writing is horrendous in its own right – when considered alongside the lack of self-awareness inherent in titling it “Rebel Sound”, it takes horrendous to whole new levels.
“Rebel Sound” is the least rebellious sounding thing ever, unless of course you happen to be rebelling against common decency. The most acceptable explanation for it we can think of is that it was written for some young whippersnapper pop star, was rejected, and they thought, “Oh well, we might as well use it ourselves.”
Actually, that’s still pretty abhorrent. The most acceptable explanation for it we can think of is that Rzeznik is evil, in which case fair enough.
The plastic surgery’s a clue. No one who looks like that could ever hope to make an even vaguely worthwhile tune.
Fortunately, “Rebel Sound” sank without trace. Some good left in the world after all, even if it doesn’t feel like it when you’re listening to “Rebel Sound”.
Revel Sound, more like, and no we don’t know what that’s supposed to mean because our brains have been liquified by listening to “Rebel Sound”. Remember? Because we sure don’t.
Damn you, Goo Goo Dolls!