JLS

JLS... Boner-pop sensations (Img: Adam Bielawski)

Singles Clubbed: Madness, Everything Everything, Villagers, Fossil Collective, Jessie Ware, Katy B and some others!

Published on October 24th, 2012 | Jonny Abrams

Singles are like…sod this, do any of you even read the intros? Bet you don’t. We put our hearts, souls and occasionally minds into this stuff, and you’d rather just sit there at your desk with your artisan coffee and your fancy shoes and…

LET’S CLUB SOME SINGLES!

Amy MacDonald – “4th of July”

Bit late, this one.

Or early, depending on which way you look at it.

Right, the song: nice use of brass, rubbish use of everything else. “I’ll fly sky-high on the 4th of July” – be our guest, Amy, just as long as there are no recording studios up there. Loony American tub-thumbing election-time cash-in bilge water. Pah.

Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!

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Everything Everything – “Cough Cough”

See that video, right? That’s Fun, that is – as in the boy band/monstrosity Fun – except that rather than being a surefire harbinger of doom they’re actually rather good and undoubtedly inventive. Slippery psych melodicising a la sadly missed duo Simian and Clor is sprinkled over synthy madcappery and punchy vocals like so much powdered chili, amounting all in all to the kind of thing that’s so bonkers you’ll not be able to help being either charmed or riled. Rocksucker is charmed, and if you’re not then that’s because you’re dead inside. Or you just have different taste, we don’t know.

Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quaila quail

Fossil Collective – “On and On”

Brooding, and nice. This is brooding and nice. With nice, brooding harmonies, and a brooding, nice Thom Yorke-ish vocal. Oh, and it’s nocturnal too, as emphasised by its nice, brooding flute solo. Nice. And brooding.

The level of originality at play here could best be summed up by the chorus’s lyrical resolution of “you are the one”, but its beguiling trot keeps things pleasing nonetheless.

Rocksucker says: Three and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quailhalf a quail

Fun Adults – “Sap Solid”

“Paranoid Android”! What do we win? Okay, once it ditches the ever-so-slightly ‘borrowed’ guitar line, it becomes a decent slice of dark, swooshy, beatsy whateverness. That’ll do.

Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quaila quailhalf a quail

Jessie Ware – “Night Light (Wild Beasts Remix)”

Time was when remixes would constitute B-sides rather than A-sides. Remember those days, the days of CD1 and CD2? Well, do you? Eh? If we’re rambling here it’s because there’s not an awful lot going on in this track to derail our train of thought. It’s a smooth nocturnal groove with just enough samply bells and whistles to keep it off the coffee table, so add it to your ‘canoodling’ playlist and have done with it.

Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!

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JLS – “Hottest Girl in the World”

JLS have still got it!

The less said the better about what ‘it’ is, though. Have you ever told your computer to shut up? You will. Another boner-pop classic from the boys, then.

Rocksucker says: Half a Quail out of Five!

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Madness – “My Girl 2″

“Tainted Love”! Surely we win something this time?

Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!

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Mosca feat. Katy B – “What You Came For”

Yes!! It’s 1995 again!! On A Dance Tip 2, homies! Everton to win the FA Cup! Matt Lucas still George Dawes in most peoples’ eyes! Other stuff relevant to that time!

Oh no, wait, it’s still 2012. Sorry guys, we got confused by “What You Came For” by Mosca featuring Katy B. We’re really, really sorry.

Rocksucker says: Two Nostalgic Quails out of Five!

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Naughty Boy feat. Emeli Sande – “Wonder”

“This light is contagious / Go tell your neighbours” – hmmm. Questionable lyrics and appalling warbling (apparbling?) aside, this isn’t a particularly bad attempt at giving Motown a clacky sort of modern twist. “Not particularly bad”, though, should not be read as an endorsement. Ultimately, this is another case of “have voice, will submerge into identikit pop sheen with all the imagination and ambition of Phillip Schofield making beans on toast for supper”. But we’ve heard worse.

Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!

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Newton Faulkner – “Write It On Your Skin”

If this was any more twee it would be…I dunno, some kind of twee activity. What would a really twee person or thing do that could be deployed for comic effect in that last sentence? 

Oh right, the song. It’s not bad, it’s just…Newton Faulkner. The guy was born with two and a half quails already attached: one on each shoulder, and the half perched atop his aggravatingly dreadlocked skull like some kind of feathery mohawk. He is a living emblem of adequacy, a totemic representation of all that is essentially okay yet means absolutely nothing.

Can you guess what score we’re giving it?

Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!

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Tyga feat. Chris Brown & Wynter Gordon

This is sure to be good.

Oof.

Rocksucker says: Have a Dead Quail!

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Villagers – “The Waves”

Have people just given up on semi-interesting band names altogether? Is it some kind of rally against Google that we weren’t aware of? Anyway, this is very good stuff from the 2010 Mercury Prize nominees: gurgling, croaking, twinkling electronica playing host to a breathless yet simultaneously understated vocal line about, well, looking at stuff. Oh, and “well-insulated bigotry”, whatever that is when it’s at home, possibly in your loft, wrapped in foam and grumbling about there being “far too many mumbo jumbo shops” on the high street these days.

“The Waves” builds into quite the digital cacophony before swiping itself out with consummate abruptness, confirming itself as the work of a band making music for all the right reasons: processing and reproducing their own colourful imaginations into something which at the very least might welcome their dreams into our realm…and at best might strike a canny chord with synaesthetic pop-monkeys everywhere. As much as Rocksucker wants to hate a band called Villagers, we are amongst those monkeys.

Rocksucker says: Four and a Half Quails out of Five!

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You Me At Six – “Reckless”

We’re sure their friends and families are very proud of them, and that they’re very excited about being a well-known band, and that when they see loads of 14-year-olds moshing in the crowd they’re actually inspiring a future generation rather than giving them a momentary sugar rush that they’ll look back on in ten years’ time and cringe so hard that actual tears will spew forth.

As much as we dislike this, we wouldn’t have wanted to punch them all in the face if we hadn’t have seen the video. Go on: watch the video and tell us you don’t want to punch every member of You Me At Six in the face.

Want to, that is; this is not a genuine threat to punch every member of You Me At Six in the face. However, if they’d be willing to accept our punches in exchange for a donation to a charity of their choice, we’d be all ears. (Unless they start playing music, in which case we’ll rip off the ears and burn them.)

Rocksucker says: One Quail out of Five!

a quail

See you next week, everybody!

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About the Author

Editor of Rocksucker and the website's founder, Jonny is passionate about the music he listens to, both good and bad, as well as interviewing his favourite musicians.