Review: Ronan Keating – Fires
Published on September 5th, 2012 | Jonny Abrams
Good Christmas present for mum? I mean, my mum has taste, but yours mightn’t. You know that impression you’ve got in your head of what Fires sounds like, despite not having heard it yet? Well, it sounds exactly like that.
Here’s a list of things you could do with a physical copy of Ronan Keating’s new album rather than listen to it:
1) Smash a spider with it.
2) Play frisbee with it.
3) Rest your pint on it.
4) Spin it around on your finger until it flies off and smashes into a spider.
5) Chase someone around with it making boogieman noises.
6) Snap it in twain and slash your wrists with it.
7) Serve hors d’oeuvres on it.
8) Try eating it.
9) Force someone else to eat it.
10) Joke present for a friend.
Rocksucker says: One Quail out of Five!
Ronan Keating’s new album Fires is out now and available at Tesco’s or something. For more information please lean out of a window and shout “Ronan Keating!” until he hears you.