George Michael George Michael… Bad swear (Img: Insasse)

Singles: George Michael, RHCP, Bloc Party, Django Django, Spector, Lemar and some others!

Published on August 15th, 2012 | Jonny Abrams

Look out! Singles! Down there!

Aiden Grimshaw – “Curtain Call”

Tries to meld genres, so plus points for that, but its fragile singer-songwriter-iness + trip hop groove feels all too contrived. Is this the very definition of ‘meh’? And if we take ‘meh’ at its precise meh-ing point, how many quails does this equate to? We think two. Two quails.

Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!

a quaila quail

Angel – “Wonderful”

See above, but replace “fragile singer-songwriter-iness + trip hop groove” with “soul + breakbeat + rock + dubstep”. Nice idea, but when you get down to the nuts and bolts of the actual song-writing there’s very little there. A meh-vellous start to this week’s singles, then.

Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!

a quaila quail

Bloc Party – “Octopus”

From meh-diocrity to the realms of ‘quite good’, but then Bloc Party are pretty much the Beatles of ‘quite good’. Nice shuddery, jittery electronic thing going on there; shame they pretty much base the whole song around it. Bloc Party are back to prove once and for all that nobody, NOBODY, is more quite good than they are.

Rocksucker says: Three Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quail

Django Django – “Hail Bop”

This is much, much more like it: commanding harmonies, heavenly Blur-gone-digi-pop melody, and a slightly sinister quality that reminds of when Simian and Clor burst respectively onto the scene. Rocksucker had not given the album much of a spin until now but this looks sure to change. Excellent stuff, with a video to match.

Rocksucker says: Four and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quaila quailhalf a quail

George Michael – “White Light”

Like a sinister reimagining of his “Fast Love” phase, Michael even does a swear in this intriguing yet ultimately unmoving slice of whatever.Singers of the world: you can’t just take a so-so pop song, say “fuck” in it and expect people to take you seriously. Thinking on, we’ll deduct a quail for it.

Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quailhalf a quail

Jake Bugg – “Taste It”

Very ‘now’ of production, “Taste It” is nevertheless a decent song with an authoritative country-blues swagger, not bad going for a 19-year-old from Nottingham. Like Split the Difference-era Gomez with less ingenious songwriting, but there’s plenty of time for that to flower.

Rocksucker says: Three and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quailhalf a quail

Jessie Ware – “Wildest Moments”

If these are her wildest moments, imagine how snooze-inducing her calmest moments must be. Some nice, disorienting production touches, but not enough to compensate for the piss-weak tune.

Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!

a quaila quail

Kreayshawn – “Go Hard”

How about just “Go”? This is so bad it almost deserves accolades. As impressive as its thorough rottenness may be, Rocksucker hopes never to be subjected to it again, ever, not even for actual money. Euch.

Rocksucker says: Have a Dead Quail!

a dead quail

Lemar – “Invincible”

“I had a dream / It was golden / We were children” – go back to sleep, Lemar. For crying out loud, this song’s going to be huge, isn’t it? Televised football, Comic Relief soundtracking, the lot. A total wet drip of a song, which ends quite abruptly with Lemar gazing longingly at newlyweds kissing while singing “Wish that you had chosen me instead”. We can only imagine that the other guy writes better songs.

Rocksucker said: One and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quailhalf a quail

Noisettes – “Winner”

Not bad at all, one or two dodgy lyrics notwithstanding (“shine like the moon” is such a no-no), but conversely there is little about it to commend other than the outlandish hat worn in the video by singer Shingai Shoniwa. “Winner”, “Invicible”…hmmm…

Rocksucker says: Two and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quaila quailhalf a quail

Paloma Faith – “30 Minute Love Affair”

A capella intro is nice enough but the plodding ’80s electro that comes in to support Faith sounds almost apologetic. Like an old Madonna hit that’s just come home from a hard day at work.

Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!

a quaila quail

Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Strange Man” and “Long Progression”

“Strange Man” begins tremendously promisingly with a vaguely psychedelic, oddly timed sequence of shimmering guitar chords, but the vocals don’t add enough in the way of extra dimension while the chorus feels oddly empty, suddenly stripped of the splendour that had looked likely to break out.

“Long Progression” might not be likely to please those old fans but it is really quite gorgeous atop its driving, shuffling beat, like “Can’t Stop” trading in its funky swagger for a Beatles-infused chorus. No-one’s going to proclaim this to be anything other than a decent RHCP song, but fortunately they’re still good enough for that to be good enough…if that makes sense.

Rocksucker says: Three and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quailhalf a quail

Rita Ora – “How We Do (Party)”

This video has, at the time of writing, accumulated fourteen MILLION views, despite the song itself – trendy expletive and all – being about as necessary as a fart during intercourse.

Rita Ora, if you happen to end up reading this somehow: you have just made a significant contribution towards the stagnation of the evolution of all mankind. We hope you’re happy with the utter drivel you are fronting.

Rocksucker says: Have Two Dead Quails!

a dead quaila dead quail

Spector – “Never Fade Away”

“You know I’ll never fade away” – au contraire, bespectacled singer of deeply mediocre band, Rocksucker suggests you take the advice proffered by your own album title and Enjoy It While It Lasts. Who’s championing this lot, then? NME? We bet it’s the NME. *Googles “NME Spector”* Oh, look.

Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!

a quaila quail

Theme Park – “Jamaica”

Fans of Phil Collins and The Lighthouse Family apply within. It’s smooth, we’ll give it that much.

Rocksucker says: Two Quails out of Five!

a quaila quail

We Are Augustines – “Book of James”

In our March review of parent album Rise Ye Sunken Ships we said of “Book of James”: “…must sound wonderful in a live setting…descending – nay, ascending – into a dizzying cacophony that plays a central role in the tension-and-release dynamic prevalent across these twelve tracks.” It still sounds good.

Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quaila quail

Bye-bye!

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About the Author

Editor of Rocksucker and the website's founder, Jonny is passionate about the music he listens to, both good and bad, as well as interviewing his favourite musicians.