Scouting for Girls at Glastonbury

"You guys totally rock! Wooooo!"

Singles: Dinosaur Jr., Ben Gibbard, Scouting For Girls, Savages, Feeder and some others!

Published on August 29th, 2012 | Jonny Abrams

GETYERBLEEDIN’SINGLESTHEY’REONLYTHREEFERRAPAAAHHHHNNNDGUVNA!

Here is/are Rocksucker’s Singles Clubbed…

Benjamin Gibbard – “Teardrop Windows”

Sublimely sun-kissed ‘n’ countrified precursor to the Death Cab For Cutie and The Postal Service front man’s forthcoming debut solo album Former Lives (out 12th November, since you ask). Typically lovely, lyrical stuff from yer now-more-formally-titled man, and furthermore strangely evocative of Teenage Fanclub’s majestic fuzzy jangle. Bring on the rest of it.

Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quaila quail

Chicken Lips – “D.R.O.M.P.”

Grace Jones if she lived in east London? This fun funk workout flowers into quite the clattery percussive thing for those seeking to keep the carnival fever going, and it’s also introduced Rocksucker to the notion of ‘don’t rain on my parade’ as an acronym. DROMP! Fun to say, isn’t it?

Rocksucker says: Three Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quail

Cover Drive (feat. Dappy) – “Explode”

Nice abs, singer of Cover Drive; shame about the song, though. She may have a perfect waistline but no amount of treadmill action can save this from coming across as a poor man’s Ace of Base, while Dappy – as ever – can shut up. Not that we can understand a damn thing he’s saying here, anyway.

The video ends with some hopefully rather disingenuous cheering from the crowd at this imagined Battle of the Bands scenario, and it’s hard to imagine that their ‘performance’ wouldn’t have been emphatically overshadowed by Keanu Reeves making high-pitched wibbly noises while playing air guitar. Thanks for bringing this into our lives, Polydor.

Rocksucker says: One Quail out of Five!

a quail

Dinosaur Jr. – “Watch the Corners”

Chugging power chords, big chiming lead, J. Mascis’s familiar gruff vocal: yep, it’s Dinosaur Jr. alright, and that’s good enough for us. Bodes well for the noise-pop legends’ forthcoming I Bet On Sky album, when it shall truly be 1991 again. Woooo-OOH!

Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quaila quail

Fazer – “Killer”

“Tell me do you like it?” appeals the vocodered voice.

Rocksucker says: No. We don’t like it.

“Tell me how you want it?”

Rocksucker says: On mute. Look at the bloke in the video going mad and tearing his hair out. He knows. He knows that rhyming ‘Shakira’ with ‘tequila’ in popular song could very well bring about the end of the world. He knows that this is about the five-thousandth pulsing pop-electro song this year to feature vocodered vocals and a car in its video. We eagerly await next week’s installment.

Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quailhalf a quail

Feeder – Idaho

I’d a ho, once. Chortle! Where were we? Oh, right: “Constant wave of regret / I need a change in my life” – yes you do, Feeder, and that change would most advisably be one of musical direction. Feeder baby, we love you, but emo is not becoming of you, nor should it be of anyone. On the plus side, this could very conceivably score a big, fat hit with its whacking great chorus, which some would call ‘anthemic’ and others would call ‘inane’. Guess which side of the fence Rocksucker falls on?

Shameless “Smells Like Teen Spirit” lift at the end there, too. Not sure if this makes it better or worse.

Rocksucker says: One and a Half Quails out of Five!

a quailhalf a quail

Little Mix – “Wings

Let it be known far and wide: TOWIE has finally formed a girl band. “Mama told me not to waste my life” they sing, neglecting to add the caveat about going out of their way to waste everyone else’s lives instead. So blinded was Rocksucker by all the fake tan and pop clichés that we couldn’t bring ourselves to watch until the end, so apologies if it turns into Bohemian sodding Rhapsody.

This has had 6.5 million YouTube hits. 6.5 MILLION. If the song itself hadn’t made us lose enough faith in humanity, this figure has pulverised what was left and then some.

Now in minus. Minus faith in humanity.

Rocksucker says: Have a Dead Quail!

a dead quail

Savages – “Husbands”

Now THIS is a girl band. What a juddering great big bleedin’ racket they throw intermittently over that excitable/excited/exciting pounding quick-step of a beat, not to mention that driving bass and punkily lunatic lead vocal. This lot were impressive at Leeds on the weekend, a not entirely original but refreshingly barmy rally against the identikit tripe going on elsewhere. Very promising.

Rocksucker says: Four Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quaila quail

Savages – “Flying to Berlin”

Not as obvious a stand-out or as instantly winning as “Husbands” but good atmpspheric Joy Division-y stuff nonetheless. Mean-ass bassline too.

Rocksucker says: Three Quails out of Five!

a quaila quaila quail

Scouting for Girls – “Summertime in the City”

Reaction-based preamble: saw Scouting For Girls on list of singles. Sighed deeply. Laughed at title of song. Enjoyed brief respite of horrible YouTube advert on mute. Unleashed shit dragon.

Heard initial stomp. Thought, “Let’s see where this is going.” Guy starts singing. Burst out laughing. Are these lyrics really the work of an adult? Electric guitars in the rain is a safety hazard that is frequently portrayed in music videos these days. Just switch off.

For the first time on Rocksucker, the Dead Quail is shared.

Rocksucker says: Two Bands, One Dead Quail

a dead quail

Two Door Cinema Club – “Sleep Alone”

Ticks so many boxes of Rocksucker dislike, this one: wet vocal delivery, lyrics void of interest (“Never been this far from home” – come on, at least try!), indie-disco beat, complete and utter dearth of any kind of imaginative songwriting, relentless light tonality.

In the video the lead singer falls off a skyscraper yet appears altogether nonplussed by this sudden turn of events. Perhaps he’s all too acutely aware that his music would be no great loss. He then goes on to be chased by a flying guitar, as if the guitar is running after him beseeching “Learn me! Explore me! Make me a complete guitar!”

Then he wakes up and it’s all a dream. Marvelous. Just like Dallas. And Sunset Beach.

Rocksucker says: There is no waking up from this song.

Good night.

Artists: , , , , , , , ,

About the Author

Editor of Rocksucker and the website's founder, Jonny is passionate about the music he listens to, both good and bad, as well as interviewing his favourite musicians.